Prior to dating my husband I had been in three relationships, the longest of the three was five weeks in length.

I make no claims to be an expert on the topic of dating.  My track record shows that I am somewhat versed in the art of being rejected.

  But all of the introspection and relationship examination this week caused me to think about the few nuggets that I learned from my dating experiences.


Live your own story!  Your story is not going to be the same as any of your friends or family members.  Don’t get discouraged or frustrated when the timing or situation seems to be different.  (I met my husband on E-harmony.  BAM.  There, I said it.)

-Be open and honest in your relationship.  You may be wishing for a prince or a perfect ten, but I can promise that you won’t ever find a mind reader.  It ain’t gonna happen.  If you don’t speak up you won’t have a say in your relationship

-Be WISE and follow some basic healthy dating principles. (Follow the links below!)
-The type of bait you use determines the fish you catch.
-Be yourself.
-Recognize that no other person can complete you.
-Maintain godly relationships outside the dating relationship.
-Open up your hands and entrust the relationship to God.
-Establish relational lifeboats.
-Guard your heart.

-Involve your community in your relationship.  It was important that both my friends and his friends got to see our relationship.  We visited each other’s churches and tried to see the other in their own “environment” as much as possible.  This was challenging as we had an hour distance between the two of us.

-Get some sleep.  In the moment it always feels like you’ve got to stay up talking on the phone, e-mailing, texting, or spending time together.  I’m always more prone to be emotional, irrational, or unwise when I’m tired.  Choose to be wise!

-Remember that you have purpose and identity ASIDE from this relationship.  Being in “this” does not define you.

-Pray every step of the way.  My prayer from the start of the relationship went something like this:  “God, if this is in any way not wise or good for me- then would you please hit me in the face with a frying pan of truth.  Use my friends.  Use your Word.  Just don’t let me plug my ears to anything you would say to me during this relationship.  I don’t trust my heart.  I trust your Word.  Help!”

I’m sure there are going to be hundreds of things that I missed in this post, so feel free to add to the list in the comment section.  What advice would you give for a dating relationship?


(Check out THIS GUIDE if you are looking for more on this topic.)