All Figured Out

Isn’t it tempting to think everyone else has it all figured out?  I know that I fall into thought patterns where I assume that I’m the only one who struggles.  I’ve been a believer for long enough.  I have lived in church all my life.  And yet, I sometimes worry that I’m the only one who’s thinking: “I don’t know how to do this… pray, fast, be spiritual, choose which way to go.  I should be better than this!”

“Spirituality is anything but a straight line, it is a mixed-up, topsy-turvy, helter-skelter godliness that turns our lives into an upside-down toboggan ride full of unexpected turns, surprise bumps, and bone-shattering crashes.  In other words, messy spirituality is the delirious consequence of a life ruined by a Jesus who will love us right into his arms.” –Michael Yaconelli, Messy Spirituality

Amen to that.  I feel like I’m in a life-long journey of admitting my mess. I spent a large portion of my life being terrified that someone would figure out just how much of a mess I was.  But I suppose the first step is admittance.

Hi, my name is Ginger and I am a spiritual mess.  My time in the word is sporadic, my prayers distracted, and my heart selfish.

“I want to be a good person.  I don’t want to fail.  I want to learn from my mistakes, rid myself of distractions and run into the arms of Jesus.  Most of the time, however, I feel like I am running away from Jesus into the arms of my own clutteredness.

I want desperately to know God better.  I want to be consistent.  Right now the only consistency in my life is my inconsistency.  Who I want to be and who I am are not very close together.  I am not doing well at the living-a-consistent-life thing…” -Michael Yaconelli, Messy Spirituality

Thank God for grace that covers my fears… and mess.

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Can you identify with the fear that everyone else has faith all figured out?

Following and learning,
Ginger