Thursday Tips: The Fear of Dependence

This week we are combatting some fears with truth, gusto, and some honesty.

Long story short: sometimes I think it makes me seem really brave and super spiritual if I can do life without the help or support of anyone else. And I can… for a while. But eventually I realize that I’m lonely, fearful, and not growing in the ways I should be. It’s way easier for me to feel super spiritual by myself. Add someone else to the equation and my selfishness quickly asserts itself. Uggh.

We weren’t created to fly solo. We were made for community.

So today I wanted to share a favorite Retro Thursday Tip via video and remind us all how we can cultivate a growing community by setting up a network. Want to hear more? Press play.

Community is hard, but I think it’s worth it.

“Considering what Adam went through to appreciate Eve to the utmost, I wondered how beautiful it is that you and I were created to need each other. The romantic need is just the beginning, because we need our families and we need our friends. In this way, we are made in God’s image. Certainly God does not need people in the way you and I do, but He feels a joy at being loved, and He feels a joy at delivering love. It is a stinking thought to realize that, in paradise, a human is incomplete without a host of other people. We are relational indeed. And the Bible, with all its understanding of the relational needs of humans, was becoming more meaningful to me as I turned the pages. God made me, He knows me, He understands me, and He wants community.”

-Donald Miller, Searching for God Knows What

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Community: do you want to run after it or away from it? Why?

Learning and Following,

  • Oh my!  I love this tool.  What a neat way to analyze who surrounds you and look at where you need to grow in your network.  I do have a question though.  What is the difference between your partners and your inner circle?  

    • Great question Shelby! I pulled out my very first Network list that I journaled in the fall of 2006. I listed three names under partners and three under inner circle. Two of the names fell under both lists. I did list one name whom I am incredibly close with, but that person didn’t hold me accountable. I think it’s possible that you can have some repeats on your chart; a mentor might be a hero. I can try and contact my mentor from that time who gave me this chart and see if she has any more insight into the partner/inner circle difference. You definitely made me think!

    • Shelby! Here’s what I discovered from my source:

      Many of those categories my have over-lapping people. For example: I have someone who was a mentor, inner circle, and partner at one point. As another example I currently have a “partner” that asks me hard questions frequently- and we have kids that play together, but we do not have the relationship that would put her in my inner circle. 

      Make sense?