Ginger Ciminello > Life Lessons

Blessings by Surprise

May 21, 2013 by Leave a Comment

wreath

I took this photo with my phone, so apolgies that you can’t see all of the perfect details created by my friend Carey. The wreath has Peter Rabbit details and lettering that spells out “Rejoice!” There could not have been a more appropriate centerpiece for the weekend. A whole gaggle of lovely and wonderful people took time out of their Sunday to shower Baby Girl and I with love, gifts, encouragement, and really good food. I felt so blessed to be in the presence of so much joy.

I remarked multiple times about how surprised I was to have so many gathered together from various circles of my life. Because Phoenix has some ridiculous urban sprawl, some of the guests had to travel for over 45 minutes to attend, and yet they still came.

And then, the youth group that my husband and I have volunteered with for the past year surprised us with a mini showering of gifts at our end of the year picnic. Talk about a tear-inducing weekend, but these were the best kind of tears.

I think it’s hard for us to believe that God really does give good gifts. (It’s probably because our own hearts can be pretty stingy examples of generosity… or at least mine is.)

The abundant blessings on Sunday reminded me of the lengths our Heavenly Father goes to shower us with love. There’s not a bullet point for this post. I don’t even really have much more to say other than to remind us all that HIS GOOD IS GOOD.

When you end up alone in a giant city… His good is good.

When your plans fall through… His good is good.

When you fear leaving what you have to embrace what could be… His good is good.

When you obey even when you don’t want to… His good is good.

His good is so good.

Following,
Ginger

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#AmIpretty

May 15, 2013 by Leave a Comment

heart

I mentioned yesterday my concern about the LIKE ME aspect of social media. I’ve been thinking about for a while but it has really come to a point as I consider what it will be like to the mother of a young woman in just a few years.

After I speak at schools and conferences I end up with lots of new young followers through Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. I’m honored that you/they have any desire to see pictures of the chalkboard in my kitchen or the thoughts I share in 140 characters. But I’ve also noticed how few young people utilize the privacy settings available. Even though I live a fairly public existence on-line, I am very careful and cautious about the personal information that I do share. The majority of my teen friends on Instagram typically have a thousand followers. When I asked them about the account they could tell me to the precise number of how many people were following and liking on that day.

And then I saw this piece on Good Morning America.

I don’t know about you, but I find using tags like #hotornot, #beautypageant, and #amIpretty to be alarming, to say the least, especially when that’s being asked by young women to friends and even strangers.

Has Instagram become a self-esteem meter? Are we, in essence, asking Social Media to tell us that we are pretty?

I know I’ve only addressed teens at this point (none of my friends in their 30’s are posting “selfies” every day), but I want to acknowledge that the world of “likes” can be a dark addiction for any age. When we seek the approval of our peers to the detriment of our contentment, that’s a dangerous place to be.

So do we toss it all out the window in hopes of finding a cure? Maybe. I definitely admire people who take a step back from Social Media or who have never wandered into the format. But personally I find value in being able to connect with my friends and family who are so far away. I love seeing pictures of weddings I miss. I treasure the baby pictures. (I’m going to try to not go overboard when I’m a mommy. Hold me to it.) Facebook is one of my favorite ways to send my brother a laugh and let him know I’m thinking about him. But I also know that comparing myself to others is a real option when we are all checking out the “best-foot-forward” images of our idealistic lives.

So here’s my challenge to all of us. A few questions to consider before you post:

1. Why are you posting this picture? I try to ask myself this each and every time I hit “post.” I let this question lead me to really consider my motives. Is this true, noble, lovely, or excellent? (Sometimes it’s just funny, and that’s cool too.) Am I looking for an emotional shot in the arm through likes and comments? Am I seeking emotional empathy through a website?

A lot of times I will sit with a photo for 20 minutes and then decide not to hit post. Perhaps I’m over-thinking everything, but in a world that tells me to post everything, I just have to put my foot down and sometimes say NO.

2. Is this humor at the expense of someone else? There’s laughing WITH someone and then there is laughing AT someone. I post funny and ridiculous video clips on my brother’s timeline all the time. It’s our little shared love language. But I’m also careful not to let that humor spill over into being mean. Screaming goats = funny. Celebrities embarrassing themselves while drunk = unkind.

3. Am I posting out of anger? I’ve blogged about this one before. If we are to be known as a people of love we should really be slow to post. May our words (typed or spoken) bring joy and encouragement to anyone listening or following.

“Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift.” Ephesians 4:29, MSG

4. Have I checked my security settings lately? I had to throw this out there. Be careful about geotagging your location. With whom are you sharing your daily routine and schedule? I don’t want to become someone overtaken by fear, but at the same time, I want to be smart and protect the privacy of my family. Who can see your pictures? Why do you need them to see your pictures?

5. Am I looking for social media to boost my self-esteem? Even if you won every Instagram beauty pageant and received 300 likes on your next post, my guess is that the high would only last for so long. The “likes” of others can never fill us up. Genuine peace and contentment come when we love ourselves without the approval of others. But true self-worth is found when we see ourselves through the eyes of our Creator.

“The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7, NIV

At the end of the day, my hope and desire is to run everything I present to the world through this filter…

“Am I saying this now to win the approval of people or God? Am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be Christ’s servant.” Galatians 1:10, NIV

Following,
Ginger

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Thursday Tips: Get Real

May 9, 2013 by Leave a Comment

thursday

I think a lot of us are pretty good at acting and pretending. We smile through pain and maintain the image that we want the world to see. Sometimes it’s a conscious decision and sometimes… it just happens. That’s why today’s retro Thursday Tip is all about awareness. How do YOU answer this question: “How are you?!”

Check it out.

Thursday Tip: Stop Pretending from Ginger Ciminello on Vimeo.

Do you struggle with fine-itis too? What would happen if you were to answer that question honestly? What if you let yourself feel AND be vulnerable with those feelings? What then?

“…If you are anything like me, then you know the fine art of how to be vulnerable enough so people believe you are authentic, but not so vulnerable that all your mess hangs out. You know how to be vulnerable with boundaries… We may be able to hide some of the mess with each other, but we have a God who sees and knows and loves no matter what. He is a generous, patient, compassionate God and his expectations of us are not the same as our expectations of ourselves.” (Emily P. Freeman, Grace for the Good Girl)

Even if you still struggle with sharing all of your mess with those around you, I would encourage you to allow yourself to be honest in your time with the Lord. Nothing will surprise Him… He knows and LOVES the True You. Find freedom in being totally honest without any pretending.

Following and learning,

Ginger

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Choking on Worry

May 1, 2013 by Leave a Comment

Did you know that the English term for worry comes from an old German word meaning to struggle or to choke? 

That sounds super appealing.

And yet, I could easily be labled a worrier. There is so much content to work with: the state of the country, Syria, North Korea, baby prep, finishing a manuscript, labor and delivery, saving for the future, the health of family members… and on and on.

We are good at worrying.  Stop for one second, could you write at least one thing down that you are currently worried about? How about five?

Does worrying actually accomplish anything?

The average person’s worry will be spent on-
40% on things that will never happen
30% on things about the past that can never be changed
12% on criticism from others
10% on health
8% about real problems that will actually be faced

I know I shouldn’t worry!  I know the Bible says not to. But sometimes I feel SO PRODUCTIVE.  I love my lists – I’ve always made worry lists.

So what’s the big problem with worry? Worry is admitting or uncovering that I can’t trust the Lord enough to believe that He has everything under control, that my life doesn’t surprise him!

In Paul’s letter to the Philippians his overarching point is to remind them to be like-minded by having the same attitude as Christ – striving forward – taking hold of what has already been attained for us. Chapter 4 is where I want to camp for a little while.

“Therefore, my brothers and sisters, you whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm in the Lord in this way, dear friends!

I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord. Yes, and I ask you, my true companion, help these women since they have contended at my side in the cause of the gospel, along with Clement and the rest of my co-workers, whose names are in the book of life.

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:1-7, NIV)

Euodia and Syndeche are fighting – these leaders of the church – obviously not being of the same love and purpose.  So Paul asks others to step in. Rejoice!  Be gentle with how you handle this situation and don’t be anxious. Turn your requests to the Lord. (For me, any type of confrontation is cause for worry!)

ANXIOUS: extreme uneasiness of mind-brooding fear.

This use of ANXIOUS in this passage is the same greek word used by Jesus in Matthew chapter 6 when he commands “Do Not Worry”.  MER-IM-NAH-O.

This is a clear command – and yet since it was not written on stone like some others, we often disregard it.  Jesus desires this to be a law written on our hearts, transforming us into people who trust Him enough to obey him even when we can’t see what the end result might be. The struggle to give this up is huge for me!

Why do we worry? It’s all about control!

How do we try and deal with it?

  1. Medicate
  2. Ignore/distract ourselves
  3. Over control the situation

But what are some biblical solutions to this challenge?

Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son. The Son stands first in the line of humanity he restored. We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in him. After God made that decision of what his children should be like, he followed it up by calling people by name. After he called them by name, he set them on a solid basis with himself. And then, after getting them established, he stayed with them to the end, gloriously completing what he had begun. (Romans 8:26-30, MSG)

He has a plan and purpose for our lives. Let your gentleness be evident to all – the Lord is NEAR!  Paul is communicating what Christ wanted us to get all along.  Worry denies God’s strength, sovereignty, and presence in our everyday lives.

worry

  1. Remind yourself that HE IS NEAR!
  2. He loves you and longs for the very best for you.  Whose are you?
  3. Hide His word in your heart.  Take every thought captive.
  4. Pray, Pray, Pray.

And the peace of God – not necessarily the immediate answer you desire, but the peace of God will flood your hearts and mind.

Following and learning,
Ginger

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Shaking Knees

April 23, 2013 by 4 Comments

faith

As I lay in bed last night I turned to my husband and said, “We are really doing this. We are having a kid. Whether we are ready or not, life is about to change at light-speed. How do we get ready for this?”

This question could be applied to any life transition you like: graduation, new jobs, travel, dating, marriage, risks… change. I spent the morning with a friend and mentor who in the past year married off a daughter, became an empty nester, and is currently packing up her house to move to Colorado. Light-speed change. We both voiced our fears over the fact there is so much that we cannot see in our futures. It’s a cocktail of excitement, trepidation, anticipation, and random worries. I love the loop-da-loop on a good roller coaster when my stomach ends up in my throat, but I also hate the slow approach up the very first hill. Even though I know I’m going to love a majority of the coming experience, I still dread that initial dropoff!

In the face of all the newness and uncertainty of life, how do we step forward without our knees shaking?

I don’t know that we have to fake fearless living. The more I experience the more I realize that fear is a valid feeling and emotion. But I’ve also learned that I don’t want fear to make decisions for me. The first time I jumped off a high dive I screamed the whole way down and even continued to scream below the surface of the water. Did that make my jump any less authentic?

It is okay to acknowledge that I am afraid of the changes coming my way. I don’t know what it’s like to parent a child 24-7. Part of me wonders if I’m up to the task. I know I’m selfish. Do I really need to have a child to figure this out? Do I need sleepless nights to affirm the strength of my marriage?

I may scream the whole way off of this diving board, my knees may shake as I climb the ladder, but either way… July will come and my life will transition for the thousandth time.

We walk forward even when our knees are shaking.

“Feelings are indicators, not dictators. They can indicate where your heart is in the moment, but that doesn’t mean they have the right to dictate your behavior and boss you around. You are more than the sum total of your feelings and perfectly capable of that little gift . . . called self-control.” – Lysa TerKeurst, Unglued

I’m just sharing in case you needed a pep talk today. I know I did. Clinging to this… the answer to our fear is faith.

Following,
Ginger

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Quiet Reflections

April 9, 2013 by Leave a Comment

Hey there, strangers! It feels like I’ve been away forever. I wrote the following blog post last week on Friday afternoon just before I kicked off speaking at a fabulous girl’s conference in Dallas, Texas. I’m excited to share more about my long trip and adventures, but first… some quiet reflections.

car

Confession time.

I am writing this blog entry while sitting driver’s seat of my dad’s car while parked in a church parking lot in Dallas, Texas. It’s a lovely spring afternoon, and I am enjoying my solitude with all of the windows down. My baby girl keeps kicking me. I’m not any happier about the way lunch made me feel than she must be. It was really good. It was just so spicy. I stopped at a gas station to buy some gum, but ended up also picking up mini packages of Kleenex, a tiny travel toothbrush set, and a lemonade flavored Vitamin Water. All of these things are to combat the spicy effects of my lunch.

And why tell you all of this?

Here’s where the real confession comes in. I’ve been in Texas for almost a full two weeks. I had the opportunity to speak at a school for a few days last week and then took a break while visiting family before driving up to Dallas to speak at a girl’s conference. It’s a win/win for me. I get to work and see the people I love. But when I speak and travel I have a pretty singular focus. I want to soak up all the time that I can with grandparents, siblings, parents, and the students that I’ve come to speak to. With over 25 years of living in Texas, I have SO MANY AMAZING people who I could see every time that I’m in town. The guilt starts setting in even before my plane touches down. I don’t know how long I will have the opportunity to do this; have the long extended times with family members, and because of that I become almost overly protective of the time that I do have. I flew under the radar this trip, partially out of exhaustion. (I’m just so sorry I had to miss out spending time with so many of you. I need a full month to do the Lone Star State justice.)

But after almost two weeks of solid interaction and communication, I need a breather, so I’m sitting in a parking lot and typing on my laptop. Rather than going into the large church with friendly volunteers and staff members, this is my place of quiet. I need this space to rest, to read, and to write.

I don’t know if you noticed, but my posts last week were all over the place and scattered. I feel like I had nothing much to offer and I apologize that I threw out scraps or reposted old material. When I step back and think about this space on the Internet, I’m reminded of why I started this blog in the first place. I didn’t have a burning desire to write. This would be so much easier if I did have that desire. Instead I feel compelled to continue what I start every time I walk into an auditorium, classroom, or sanctuary. The conversation that begins in front of a group of young people or moms doesn’t end there. More than anything I want to be a resource, a vessel, and an encouragement to you. I don’t need thousands of followers. I just want to point back to the one I’m following.

That’s all for today. I’m going to read some more before I head inside. I can’t wait to meet the 300 young women coming tonight. I’m looking forward to beginning a new conversation.

Your questions and thoughts fuel the material that you read here. I would love to hear from you.

Following,
Ginger

p.s. Thank you to the many girls who have written in over the weekend! I’m so encouraged by your willingness to share and look forward to responding to each of your questions!

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The Shelf of Possibility

April 3, 2013 by Leave a Comment

shelf

Journal Entry

September 7, 2006

What if I just quit? Not anything in particular. I’m not saying my job or my family… or anything drastic like that, I just want to get away.  I’m sure I am just tired and wanting a break – so it’s a good thing I’m taking off on Friday to take a trip home. But I’m tired of not hearing a direction.  I’m tired of the guesswork in life.  It would be SO MUCH easier if I could get a map.

I was talking to someone yesterday about how I feel like I’m on the edge of a giant transition. I just don’t know exactly when it starts and when it will settle. I told her that I just wanted the answer now.  She told me about her own transition year and she is convinced that if she had seen the end before the beginning she would have said “NO WAY.” And maybe that’s the case with me. Never-the-less, the pressure is building. I feel like I am a bottle of Sprite and someone has been shaking me up for the past year and now I am about to spray out everywhere. It’s exhausting holding myself in and together.

The ridiculous thing is that my life is pretty genteel and simple for all of these dramatics. I went to a game night last night and I’m going home to see my family and have brunch with my grandparents.  Yes, we are “doing brunch” on Sunday.

But in the midst of all this normalcy I’m trying to figure out what the I’m doing and this song is really getting old. YES. Just pick something and go for it.  BUT I CAN’T.  I’M STUCK on this shelf of possibility and leaving terrifies me. I’m beginning to think that I can talk myself out of anything. Why can’t I be decisive?  Why can’t I be thrilled for all the joyful people around me? 

Every once in a while I need a good word explosion. Today just happens to be the day. I laughed for 3 hours last night and now I could just about throw something.

“Many are the plans of a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”  Proverbs 19:21

________

Can anyone else identify? My guess: yes. More to come…

Following,
Ginger

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The Big One

April 2, 2013 by 1 Comment

 galveston

When I was younger we spent almost every warm holiday at the family beach house. Every available moment of sunlight was spent at the beach. All eleven grandchildren and plenty of chaperones would make their way to our claimed patch of sand. With shovels, boogie boards, and cokes in hand we would lay down the mats and get ready to burn. Some of my favorite moments occurred out in the water as we prepared to body surf the “mighty” waves that hit the coast of Texas. We would wade out into waist deep water, sometimes higher and then begin our waiting. Some would dive into any and every wave  to come along, only going a few feet towards shore. But if you waited for the BIG ONE and then took that plunge, you were rewarded with sometimes up to twenty seconds of a thrilling ride. The undertow and power of the surge would pull and push you toward any destination they chose.

My fear was always missing the BIG ONE.   I would bypass the hundreds in search of perfection. I’m not sure what the perfect one would have even looked like, but I wanted it.

I still want the BIG ONE. I don’t want to forfeit because I’m not willing to wait.  But I also recognize that it’s hard to go somewhere if you aren’t moving.

“There is no use trying,” said Alice; “one can’t believe impossible things.”

“I dare say you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen.  “Then I was your age I always did it for half an hour a day.  Why, sometimes, I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”

-Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

Here’s to doing and believing impossible things before breakfast. Here’s to being still AND to catching the big wave. Stagnation, contentment, and peace are not the same thing. More to come.

Following,
Ginger

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Hurts and Hopes

March 27, 2013 by 1 Comment

 globe

It’s been a whirlwind of a week in my life. How about you? It feels as if once again the hurts and hopes swirl together until there is no longer valleys and peaks, but instead a whirlpool of life experience.

A car crash that causes us to remember how fragile and short this journey actually is.

A wedding and celebration that point to the best parts of life on this earth.

New babies, old friends, close hugs, exhausting days, and a sun that just keeps coming up in the morning.

This is life.

I’m spending the next days speaking to two groups of teens. Have I mentioned how much I love my job? I love connecting. I love storytelling. I treasure when a student finds me in a hallway, lowers her voice and looks in earnest as she says, “The story you shared? That’s my story too.”

When we hold our hurts and hopes so close that no one ever sees or knows, we prevent shared experiences. But when we tell our stories we remind each other that we are all in the whirlpool together.

“I listened so hard because it felt like, while she was telling me stories, she was massaging my soul, letting me know that I was not alone, that I will never have to be alone, that there are friends and family and churches and coffee shops. I was not going to be cast into space.”  Donald Miller, Blue Like Jazz

Share your story with someone today. The hard parts and the redeemed parts can both be equally encouraging and strengthening.

“Let the redeemed of the LORD tell their story.” Psalm 107:2, NIV

Following,
Ginger

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Learning to Wait

March 12, 2013 by Leave a Comment

 strong

 

Journal Entry – April 2, 2008

Waiting is the worst.

The first day of school, Christmas Eve, movie theater slides, long lights with censors that don’t pick up your car so you back up and pull forward repeatedly in hopes that you will trip the sensor. I’m sure there are many other things that come to mind. I know much of it has to do with our culture. I need my microwave lunch faster and I find myself frustrated when the internet takes too long to load. Sometimes I scream loudly on my insides about having to wait, and often times in my car, I scream on the outside.

I think I’ve been doing some screaming lately. I’m generally quite content and have been for a good period of time. I’ve tried to tell myself that wishing time away will result in a life not fully lived, and who wants that? I’m in a little bit of a holding pattern for the minute. I’m hoping that I’m not missing out on anything, but I really feel as if I have been holding my breath for too long and fear that I may just faint before I’m giving the ok to come up for some water. Breathe.

Can you identify?

Although I definitely don’t feel like I’m holding my breath anymore, I do know how tempting it can be to want to fast-forward through any waiting period. This is a lesson I want to learn and live.

“I realized that the deepest spiritual lessons are not learned by His letting us have our way in the end, but by His making us wait, bearing with us in love and patience until we are able to honestly to pray what He taught His disciples to pray: Thy will be done.” -Elisabeth Elliot

Following,
Ginger

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