A two week series on learning from the past and looking to the future…
Dear 22-year-old Jordan,
Well, you did it. You moved across the country and you’re scared to death because it’s pretty much permanent. Until the next thing comes up, that is. I know you’re thinking that you will do this for a few years and then you can get up and leave, but I encourage you to stick around. Good things are going to happen, once you get past all the rough patches.
You are smart and independent and have such an empathetic heart, but it’s that soft heart that has gotten the best of you recently. It is going to ache more than ever this year.
You have recently come out of a very messy relationship, if you can even call it that. You have just jumped into one that you think is better and is rooted in God. But Jordan, it’s not. I know you think it is but you are trying to hold onto anything that feels right at this moment. It is just not worth it.
I am reading back on your journals and you are hurting so bad. You are being treated so badly and you don’t even recognize it. You’re a tried and true “fixer”. When someone who is less fortunate than you comes along, and usually it is in the form of some guy, you want to take them in and fix them. They are hurtful, conniving, deceitful, malicious and do not see you for who you really are. They come from broken pasts that they have yet to come to terms with and they look at you, who seemingly has it all together, to take care of them. I want you so bad to realize how much time you are wasting. You just can’t fix them at the cost of yourself.
So this new guy? Do not ditch your girlfriends to spend time with him. Do not answer every phone call or text message for the attention. And do not think that he’s as good as it gets. Because he’s not. Please trust that God has someone great for you, because He does. I am living it. I encourage you to write out a list of what you want in the man you’ll marry. This list will be transforming in more ways than one and you’ll see just how wrong this guy is for you.
Sometimes I get really sad for you. You are trying to that void of loneliness that was emptied when you moved to a new place. You do deserve better, but it’s going to take you another year to realize it. I wish it would happen sooner, but it will just have to come in time. You are going to look back on this time in your life and be so thankful for where you’ll end up.
If I can ask you anything, Jordan, will you please live the life you were born to deserve?
Hang out with your girlfriends every time they call.
Move into a different apartment because the one you’re in has very shady management. Once you do, spend more alone time in that place and soak it all in.
Go to that church you went to last Christmas and call it home.
The next few years are going to be some of the hardest in your life, but it will all turn out great. I promise. Hold onto that truth.
I love who you are going to become,
Your almost-26-year-old self
Jordan is a born ‘n raised Texan writing her way through a life out West. A God-loving newlywed, Jordan writes about her journey on her blog, Wide Open Spaces.