We are on a mission to eliminate some relationship drama this week. C sent in a question asking what to do when it feels like drama keeps taking over.
I feel like drama follows me everywhere I go – like school, friends, home, and even at church. Why am I attracting all this drama?! How can I stop it?
It’s always wise to remember that although you might like to control another person’s behavior, you only have control over YOUR response and behavior. No matter the relational drama you’ve been dealt, you always get to choose your reaction… but sometimes that’s easier said then done. That’s why it’s so helpful to remember that you aren’t in this battle alone!
Dr. Emmerson Eggerichs writes, “You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger but you always have a choice. The only real healing and comfort you’re going to get is by looking to the Lord and trusting Him with your situation, painful as it is. To do otherwise is to sin. This is hard to accept because you are the one being sinned against, at least most of the time, in your opinion. Nonetheless, in order to find freedom, we must all realize that this isn’t about the other person. This is about me before God. My response is my responsibility!”
Yes, yes, and yes! So what’s next?
If we are aware of unrealistic expectations and are truly fleeing from gossip, then it’s time to do some serious heart tending. We’ve got to learn to abandon grudges. (Ouch.)
I’ve been there. I’ve been hurt by another person deeply and have wanted to hold onto that anger and bitterness. At times I’ve wanted to release it, but always seem to head back into my wounded corner. We aren’t called to forgive someone because God enjoys seeing us miserable. On the contrary, He knows that holding that kind of bitterness in our heart will only hurt us and deny HIS power!
The author Anne Lamott puts it this way: “Not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the other person to die.”
Some of you have endured pain that I can’t even fathom. I understand that there are certain wounds that require additional counseling and help. Please don’t think for a minute that I want to downplay your experience or claim that your feelings aren’t warranted. God sees you right where you are. He has not looked away from the bullying or wrongs that you’ve experienced. He longs to see you find healing and comfort through forgiveness.
“Forgive the things you are holding against one another. Forgive, just as the Lord forgave you.” Colossians 3:13b (NIrV)
Some of us are holding onto petty grievances, misunderstandings, and past wrongs. But if you really want to see drama hit the road, then follow in the footsteps of our Father.
“Relationships don’t thrive because the guilty are punished but because the innocent are merciful.” Max Lucado