• Home
  • About
    • Telling THE Story
  • Speaking
    • Take Away & Content
    • Reviews and News
    • Audio
    • Video
    • Fun Footage
  • Writing
    • Ginger’s Book
    • Blog
  • Contact

Ginger Ciminello

  • Home
  • About
    • Telling THE Story
  • Speaking
    • Take Away & Content
    • Reviews and News
    • Audio
    • Video
    • Fun Footage
  • Writing
    • Ginger’s Book
    • Blog
  • Contact

Thursday Tips: Forgiveness

November 10, 2011 Posted by Ginger Ciminello Questions, Thursday Tips

Yesterday we addressed S’s question regarding forgiveness.  Take a moment and read it so you have a reference point.  I was moved and challenged by a comment written by a reader.  Here was Cathy’s response:

My “best friend” (the only friend I’ve ever had like this in my life) hurt me deeply at the beginning of this year and it was ugly. I was utterly blind-sided and she basically took years of very close friendship and tossed it away.  My first reaction was anger and bewilderment, but that turned to bitterness. I quickly realized that God had something in this for me. Something I didn’t think I needed to work on, but I was so wrong. I needed to learn how to forgive. Truly forgive. Not just say the words and pretend while secretly harboring bitterness and dislike in my heart.

I struggled with the “fairness” of forgiving her.

I struggled with the deep hurt she caused, the horrible words she said and the broken trust.

But more than anything I struggled with the fact that by NOT forgiving her I was being disobedient to my God.

And that broke me.

 I finally (months later, over the summer) came to a place of forgiveness I didn’t think possible. There is still hurt and a deeply broken trust that will take time to heal, but I forgive her. There isn’t bitterness or anger. We don’t talk much anymore, other than passing by at church. But I am at peace knowing that God isn’t necessarily asking me to  be her best friend again, He is just asking me to show her the grace He has shown me.

So thankful for the pain and tears and hurt and loneliness and loss He allowed. Joyful that He loves me enough to teach me these difficult things.

I think Cathy shows us a beautiful picture of what it looks like to follow after Jesus in obedience.  Forgiveness isn’t a feeling or forcing yourself to pretend you weren’t hurt.  Forgiveness is a decision you make to obey God.  When we refuse to forgive it can leave us unsettled, just like Cathy mentioned.  It can often keep us from being able to pray or grow in our relationship with the Lord or with others.  When we don’t forgive we make bitterness and hurt an idol.

Today I wanted to share just a few “tips” that can help us on our journey to forgiveness and release.  I’m not a professional counselor, nor am I suggesting that tips have the ability to fix things, but I am hoping that these steps will remind us to spend more time on our knees.

-Remember that the call to forgive includes everyone: parents, siblings, family, neighbors, friends, classmates, clerks, employees, teachers, bosses, leaders, pastors, politicians, sports heroes, and presidents.  Anyone who brings up negative feelings in your mind is someone you are called to forgive.  Gulp.  Forgiveness is an entire lifestyle change, not just a diet you engage in after a particularly bad season.  We are to forgive those who hurt us (intentionally or unintentionally) EVERY time we pray.

-If you need to, make a list of everyone who has hurt you in your entire life.  Yep.  That’s what I said.  Now begin to write a prayer forgiving each name individually.  Forgive them by name.  If you need to take a break, read Ephesians 4:29-5:2 and then start praying again.

“Don’t say anything that would hurt another person. Instead, speak only what is good so that you can give help wherever it is needed. That way, what you say will help those who hear you. Don’t give God’s Holy Spirit any reason to be upset with you. He has put his seal on you for the day you will be set free from the world of sin.

Get rid of your bitterness, hot tempers, anger, loud quarreling, cursing, and hatred. Be kind to each other, sympathetic, forgiving each other as God has forgiven you through Christ.  Imitate God, since you are the children he loves. Live in love as Christ also loved us. He gave his life for us as an offering and sacrifice, a soothing aroma to God.”  Ephesians 4:29-5:2, GWT

-Memorize Ephesians 4:29-5:2

-As you pray, use your imagination and picture Jesus standing before you.  Feel the weight of your sin, and the depth of His forgiveness.

“He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.” Psalm 103:12, NLT

“For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.”  Romans 3:23, NLT

“For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 6:23, NLT

Now picture each of the people you struggle to forgive also standing before your Savior.  Tell Jesus of the wrong done to you by each individual.  Describe your hurt and pain… and then watch how He responds.

“If Jesus appeared at your dining room table tonight with knowledge of everything you are and are not, total comprehension of your life story and every skeleton hidden in your closet; if He laid out the real state of your present discipleship with the hidden agenda, the mixed motives, and the dark desires buried in your psyche, you would feel His acceptance and forgiveness.” – Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel

Have mercy on us, Oh Lord.

Following,
Ginger

Tags: Dear GingerForgivenessThursday Tips
Share
0

About Ginger Ciminello

Ginger is a work-from-home mom of two girls, the wife of a good man, as well as a speaker and writer. Her book, Forget the Corsage, was written to mentor the young women she’s met in auditoriums around the country. She has a deep desire to connect with women of all ages and encourage them to laugh, learn from her many mistakes, and connect with the Lord through a rich study of Scripture.

You also might be interested in

Thursday Tips: Soul Searching

Mar 7, 2013

“Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed[...]

Community

Oct 11, 2011

Dear Ginger- Thursday you quoted “In true community we are[...]

Talents

Talents

Jan 30, 2013

“My best friend always gets the main character after auditions[...]

Recent Posts

  • I’ve Got Nothing.
  • Freedom to Rest this Christmas
  • Shine, Poet!
  • All the Things 2015
  • My Anniversary Gift for Year Five: Marriage Counseling

Recent Comments

  • Ginger Ciminello on I’ve Got Nothing.
  • Ginger Ciminello on I’ve Got Nothing.
  • Victoria on I’ve Got Nothing.
  • Annie Parsons on I’ve Got Nothing.
  • Shanna on Shine, Poet!

Archives

  • May 2019
  • December 2017
  • November 2016
  • January 2016
  • October 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • July 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011

Categories

  • Advent
  • Forget The Corsage
  • Friday Finds
  • Hindsight
  • Identity
  • Lent
  • Life Lessons
  • Living His Story
  • Marriage
  • Missions
  • Purpose
  • Questions
  • Random
  • Recommendations
  • Relationships
  • Seasons
  • Speaking
  • Spiritual Growth
  • Thursday Tips
  • Uncategorized
  • Whatever Girls
  • With Joy Retreats
  • Writing

Meta

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org

Contact Us

We're currently offline. Send us an email and we'll get back to you, asap.

Send Message
Prev Next