Last week I made it to my garage before looking down and realizing that something was out of whack. I was wearing two completely different pairs of running shoes. I should have felt the difference. These shoes really are as different as can be. While they are both built for stability, they are different sizes, brands, and have totally different histories. The pink Asics pair has only seen me through some off-season running this summer. The New Balance pair joined me as I trained for and ran my first half marathon in January. I’ve worn holes into the sides of the pair. And yet, in my effort to get out the door, I didn’t recognize my error. The colors finally caught my eye before I stepped into the car and I had a nice loud laugh at myself!
I started seeing a counselor this summer. It’s the first time I’ve ever been to one, and it’s about the best thing I’ve ever signed up for. It refreshes me more than working out, getting a pedicure, sleeping late, or even a Sonic Route 44 beverage. I don’t consider myself to be a liar, but my counselor pointed out that I certainly live my life as a full-time actress. These sessions have been the “AHA” moment that I experienced looking down at my shoes. I am so good at pretending to have everything together that I often don’t even notice that something is out of whack. I FOOL MYSELF.
The Greek word for actor is ὑπόκρισις (hypokrisis), which means “Jealous” “play-acting”, “acting out”, “coward” or “dissembling”.
I think a lot of us are pretty good at acting and pretending. We smile through pain and maintain the image that we want the world to see. Sometimes it’s a conscious decision and sometimes… it just happens. That’s why today’s Thursday Tip is all about awareness. How do YOU answer this question: “How are you?!”
Check it out.
Do you struggle with fine-itis too? What would happen if you were to answer that question honestly? What if you let yourself feel AND be vulnerable with those feelings? What then?
“…If you are anything like me, then you know the fine art of how to be vulnerable enough so people believe you are authentic, but not so vulnerable that all your mess hangs out. You know how to be vulnerable with boundaries… We may be able to hide some of the mess with each other, but we have a God who sees and knows and loves no matter what. He is a generous, patient, compassionate God and his expectations of us are not the same as our expectations of ourselves.” (Emily P. Freeman, Grace for the Good Girl)
Even if you still struggle with sharing all of your mess with those around you, I would encourage you to allow yourself to be honest in your time with the Lord. Nothing will surprise Him… He knows and LOVES the True You. Find freedom in being totally honest without any pretending.
Following and learning,