• Home
  • About
    • Telling THE Story
  • Speaking
    • Take Away & Content
    • Reviews and News
    • Audio
    • Video
    • Fun Footage
  • Writing
    • Ginger’s Book
    • Blog
  • Contact

Ginger Ciminello

  • Home
  • About
    • Telling THE Story
  • Speaking
    • Take Away & Content
    • Reviews and News
    • Audio
    • Video
    • Fun Footage
  • Writing
    • Ginger’s Book
    • Blog
  • Contact
Authentic

Authentic

September 25, 2012 Posted by Ginger Ciminello Relationships, Spiritual Growth

Most of us have plenty of friends on Facebook, contacts in our phone, and Christmas cards to send. But how many of us can honestly say that we have deep and authentic community right now in real-time? I love my girlfriends from college and camp, but I feel God calling me to love the people I interact with on a weekly basis. How do we move from acquaintances to friends?

What brings authentic community? I’m sure there are a ton of answers to this question, but I’m just going to touch on three today.

1. A humble heart. The opposite of a humble heart is a prideful heart. When I have judgment in my heart, I stop listening and begin doing all the talking. I have all the answers. Or I shut down and begin making my grocery list – determining that I’ve heard this before, thank you very much.

Instead, I should focus on listening. A good listener…
-asks intentional questions
-leaves space for an answer
-responds with interest
-remembers

Struggling with how to move a friendship from surface level to one with depth? Try out this set of 5 questions below:

-Who are your Heroes? (Who do you admire?  Who has shaped you into the person you are today?)
-What is your Heritage?  (Tell me about your family, life growing up, your heritage of faith.)
-What are your Highlights?  (What are the high points in your life story? – the things that thrilled you, still put a smile on your face)
-What are your Heartaches? (What has hurt your heart in this life?)
-What are your Hopes? (What are your hopes, dreams, goals, or vision for the future?)

2. A willingness to share. Sometimes I just don’t want to describe the blackness in my own heart. Five other people have already spoken and I find myself thinking, “Ginger, no one needs to hear what you have to say.” And yet, I know that in order to feel connected to my groups I am going to have to be vulnerable with my heart. I can’t live in the land of “I’m fine.” The best times of community that I’ve experienced this past year have come about when someone is willing to say, “I’m not fine and I need you guys to pray for me.” Vulnerability hastens connection with others.

3. A patient spirit. I want things to run on my timeline. They should begin and end as I see fit. This leaves little room for God to move in HIS timing. This also leaves little room for connecting, listening, and growing closer as a community. This can also refer to how quickly I want community to be created. When things don’t happen the way I want, I begin to think that maybe this group isn’t for me. False. Maybe I’m the very reason that things don’t feel complete!

These three items tend to be huge roadblocks for me when it comes to deepening relationships. Relationships are messy and require a lot of effort and energy. I’m not going to get super close to ten people all at once, but I can take steps to know more about the people in my small group than just who is flying out-of-town this weekend.

Random suggestions for making friends…
1. Ask someone to lunch.
2. Be intentional when you see them. “How was your trip to see your family? I remember you mentioned that the last time I saw you!”
3. Compliment and encourage.
4. Take the first steps to share in your small group.
5. Text or call someone from your Bible Study and follow-up on mentioned prayer requests.
6. Offer up an “extra” ticket to something. “We just happen to have two more tickets to the ball game on Saturday and wondered if you guys would be interested in going?
7. Find common interests and run with it. You better believe that the next stranger to mention their love for Public Radio is going to be my new BFF. 😉
8. Pray that God would bring important relationships into your life this year.
9. Be AUTHENTIC.

Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle. Don’t burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don’t quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality.

Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they’re happy; share tears when they’re down. Get along with each other; don’t be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don’t be the great somebody. Don’t hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you’ve got it in you, get along with everybody. Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do. “I’ll do the judging,” says God. “I’ll take care of it.”

Our Scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch, or if he’s thirsty, get him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness. Don’t let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good. (Romans 12:9-21, MSG)

Following and learning,
Ginger

Tags: AuthenticFriendshipReal
Share
0

About Ginger Ciminello

Ginger is a work-from-home mom of two girls, the wife of a good man, as well as a speaker and writer. Her book, Forget the Corsage, was written to mentor the young women she’s met in auditoriums around the country. She has a deep desire to connect with women of all ages and encourage them to laugh, learn from her many mistakes, and connect with the Lord through a rich study of Scripture.

You also might be interested in

Sharing the mess.

Sep 17, 2013

I know what you’re thinking. ANOTHER post about being authentic[...]

Grace in Relationships

Grace in Relationships

Oct 11, 2012

I love my friends. But I also often struggle with[...]

Smokey the Bear
Dramatic, yes. Drama, no.

Smokey the Bear

Sep 26, 2012

Dramatic, yes. Drama, no. Yesterday we discussed the makings of[...]

Recent Posts

  • I’ve Got Nothing.
  • Freedom to Rest this Christmas
  • Shine, Poet!
  • All the Things 2015
  • My Anniversary Gift for Year Five: Marriage Counseling

Recent Comments

  • Ginger Ciminello on I’ve Got Nothing.
  • Ginger Ciminello on I’ve Got Nothing.
  • Victoria on I’ve Got Nothing.
  • Annie Parsons on I’ve Got Nothing.
  • Shanna on Shine, Poet!

Archives

  • May 2019
  • December 2017
  • November 2016
  • January 2016
  • October 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • July 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011

Categories

  • Advent
  • Forget The Corsage
  • Friday Finds
  • Hindsight
  • Identity
  • Lent
  • Life Lessons
  • Living His Story
  • Marriage
  • Missions
  • Purpose
  • Questions
  • Random
  • Recommendations
  • Relationships
  • Seasons
  • Speaking
  • Spiritual Growth
  • Thursday Tips
  • Uncategorized
  • Whatever Girls
  • With Joy Retreats
  • Writing

Meta

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org

Contact Us

We're currently offline. Send us an email and we'll get back to you, asap.

Send Message
Prev Next