Heartaches, Together

I’ve made a conscious effort in the last few weeks to let down my walls and be vulnerable with lots of people in my life. I have always been eager to share frustrations, hopes, and past hurts with my friends. I don’t have a problem talking about personal pain, as long as it’s in the past. I struggle with sharing my current hurts. Because of that, I’m slowly but surely discovering that I’ve missed out on a huge blessing found in friendships and community: having someone to walk through the hard stuff with me NOW.

I shared struggles and fears with two different groups of women last week. I mustered all of my courage and kept sharing even when the tears threatened to steal my words. I don’t know why I’ve hesitated to share in the past. The outpouring of love and support received since sharing is so encouraging.

Handwritten notes, emails, texts, phone calls, specific questions… I am blown away by the support.

It’s true. Vulnerability hastens community.

I reconnected with an old friend this weekend. We bridged the gap created by our 19 year-old selves and became fast friends once more as women in our 30s. There were tears shed, hearts shared, and hours spent catching up on the years we’d let slip by. I’m so thankful for women who challenge me to seek restoration in relationships.

Our discussions last week about authentic community and sharpening friendships… they aren’t just theory or bullet points. I’m witnessing El Roi, the God Who Sees Me, change and grow my fragile confidence through the relationships all around me.

The heartaches have a way of pointing me back to the tender love of our God. And for that, I will always be thankful.

“And the God I’ve come to know by sheer grace, the Jesus I met in the grounds of my own self, has furiously loved me regardless of my state- grace or disgrace.  And why?  For His love is never, never, never based on our performance, never conditioned by our moods- of elation or depression.  The furious love of God knows no shadow of alteration or change.  It is reliable.  And always tender.” – Brennan Manning


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  • Lstump

    I’m a “hider” too. Thanks for the encouragement to be real even on today’s pain, when I don’t have it all figured out yet.

    • But encourage one another day after day… Heb. 13:3 – Amen.

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  • Lisa

    I recently joined a community of leaders across the country. Women I’ve never met in person but hope to one day. Around the same time I joined this community, we discovered my husband had cancer. The outpouring of love, words, and prayers from this little community is what has overwhelmed me the most. I don’t even know these women and they have showered me with kindness. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing. In the past 3 months I have had to let down those walls and be very vulnerable. Through it God has shown me a beautiful side of trusting Him. The new friends has just been a great bonus!

    • Lisa – so glad you have found a place of vulnerability and connection. What a blessing!

  • Sue

    Thanks for sharing this. I am the type that usually retreats into isolation when I’m struggling with something. I stay away from friends, and cry out on my own, until I feel I can come out of it. In the past I used to always run to my best friend whenever something was happening, and unfortunately that friend isn’t here anymore. After that I felt I had to run to God first, before I can run to anyone else. So your post for today is a huge challenge for me. As always your posts are encouraging.

    • I am the same way. I need a constant reminder to turn to the Lord first and foremost!

    • So thankful God has blessed us with relationships AND Himself. Thank you for sharing your heart!