Belonging with an E.
“There’s such a lot of different Anne’s in me. I sometimes think that is why I’m such a troublesome person. If I was just the one Anne it would be ever so much more comfortable, but then it wouldn’t be half so interesting.” L.M. Montgomery, (Anne of Green Gables)
We had one copy of “Anne of Green Gables” TV movie. It was a VHS recording of a PBS special. The tracking was awful… but I didn’t care.
I remember watching the ENTIRE movie for the first time when I caught the chicken pox in first grade. I loved those puff sleeves just as much as Anne did. I desperately wanted to recite poetry and wear a rose in my hair.
I auditioned for the role of Anne for my high school play in 10th grade and was cast as Diana Barry. Six weeks before the show Anne had to step down from the role… and suddenly I was dying my hair red and practicing new lines.
I love Anne – her tantrums, her fears, her romantics, her growth into a strong young woman. Montgomery created a character who is brimming with fire, passion, and a deep desire to belong.
We all have multiple versions of ourselves during our lifetime. Some die away as we mature (thankfully) and others are changed and shaped by outside circumstances… and still others (the dancing, twirling, singing at the top of our lungs in an empty house) only see the light of day when we are all alone.
I’ve made my way to a totally new chapter of life. In the last year and a half I have changed jobs, churches, zip codes, and last names. It’s sometimes pretty challenging to decide which Anne is going to take the stage. I’d like to go all in right away, but I feel like I need to find my footing first… just like I did in 1st grade, 9th grade, as a freshman in college, or when I started my first job… or moved to Arizona… or met my husband for our first date.
After a lot of trial and error, I’m slowly beginning to understand how to accept all the different “Gingers” in me.
I think I can embrace who I am when I remember whose I am and the care He put into making me… the only me.
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I’d even lived one day.
Psalm 139:14-16, MSG
Here’s to all the Annes in us, and the God who knows and loves them all.
Following and Listening,