I’m trying to wait but how do I know what God wants me to do? I feel like I can’t tell the difference between His voice and my voice… and I want to.
Thanks so much for writing!
First, I want you to know that God speaks to all of us differently and calls us in different ways! Check it out: Moses experienced the radiance of God, Paul got a light, Isaiah had to run naked for 3 years, Ezekiel watched dry bones, Elijah saw the fire, felt the quake, and then found God in the whisper, Gideon was visited by an angel, and still others were met by talking donkeys and storms that held them at bay.
The important point in your question is that you are aware and you are seeking. When you desire to be in God’s will, He HONORS that.
That being said, have you ever heard of the game Sardines? I used to play it all the time as a kid. It’s almost a reverse of traditional “Hide and Seek.” In Sardines the “it” person goes to hide and everyone else counts. Then everyone heads out looking for the person – we’ll call them “the sardine” for ease. If I find the sardine, I have to try to hide WITH that person in their hiding place. This continues until there is only one man left standing. The last person to find the crew will be “it” in the next round.
And? I’m sure you’re wondering what this has to do with anything.
The truth is that for a long time I thought of my relationship with God as if it was a game of Sardines … especially in high school and college. I wanted to know God’s will for my life so desperately. I felt that no matter how hard I asked or looked I just couldn’t determine what God wanted for me. I looked at all of my friends, confidently making decisions, and couldn’t help but think that they had all found the answer. That was it. The entire world was hiding with God in a huge game of Sardines and I was the last one still looking for answers.
“Everyone else can find you, why can’t I?” I would lose heart and I resign myself to being last.
Confession: I feel like that, every once in a while, even to this day. I’ve read and memorized Jeremiah 29:13 until it’s practically a daily saying: You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Mark Batterson writes, “God wants you to get where God wants you to go more than you want to get where God wants you to go.”
I don’t know about you, but that truth about God let’s me take a deep and contented sigh. Even in the midst of confusing times, waiting periods, or even silence – I can find joy and peace from knowing God isn’t hiding – He is simply teaching me to seek after Him. Don’t give up! Continue to pray, to ask, and to follow.
“Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!” 1 Chronicles 16:11 (ESV)
Praying for your time of waiting!