I’ve struggled with having a consistent prayer life for as long as I can remember. I get into a routine and then something happens and suddenly I realize that I haven’t been in communication with my heavenly Father for days. Sometimes it’s all I can do to pray in short spurts – “I need You, Lord!”
God hears our prayers – all of them – the desperate pleas, the silent hopes, and the thankful jubilations. He loves to hear from His children.
My prayers have shifted in the past two weeks. My labor began in the dark and early hours of July 13th and ended at 10:28pm with the birth of our daughter, Norah.
My prayers throughout the day were cries for help, begging to see through to the end of the pain… but as soon as I came face to face with our little light (the meaning of her name), my prayers took on a whole new dimension.
Never have I felt so completely without control. This little life is dependent upon her dad and me for everything. Her cries of hunger, exhaustion, and discomfort are for us to relieve and tend to. I do not want her to know hurt or pain. I want her to stay safe in my arms, forever.
But I know I have to relinquish this control. I must trust the Lord with the life of my child, just as I have trusted Him with my own life.
As wave upon wave of contractions threatened to leave me sobbing on that Saturday afternoon, I recited the words of Psalm 139 over and over and over again. Particularly this portion from verse 16:
“All the days ordained for me we were written in your book before one of them came to be.”
All of our days, mine and Norah’s, are in the hands of my Father. And so I turn to Him in what feels like every second of the day. I pray. I ask. I give thanks. And slowly, I learn to loosen my grasp and to trust.
Thank you so much for your patience during this transition time. I hope to be back to blogging regularly in a few short weeks. In the meantime I will post here and there and share some favorite throwback posts.
Following and learning… every second of the day,